We're all returnable to Him, permanently

Al fatihah to Allahyarmah Yasmin Ahmad.

No, we didn't lose her completely.
Her remarkable masterpieces are here to stay with us.
And shall be pass on to our future generations.
Make your children watch her films & commercials,
Let their hearts be touched like Kak Min had touched ours.

Yes, we only return her back to Al Mighty. And that's the best thing of all,right?
Where she will be happily conversing about everything with Allah, of course optimistically.
And someday, InsyaAllah we could join them, you know?

And dear Kak Min, please send my love to my parents too, ok?

Yes, that's how i like to remember Kak Min (after couple of days of being stunned).

Pesan Adik jika Dia menemui ajal dahulu "Na, belajar la drive, dalam family na sorang je takut bawa kereta"

because i'm a nature person. i walk from anywhere to everywhere. ok ok. fine. i have difficulties in operating moving mechanicals. i always think i'll hit something if i drive. and to top up, i do have a driving license. ;P
but yeah cici's so called WILL stuck in my head since she told me so.

have you ever felt like a passenger in your own life? someone told me that she didn't want to watch her life from the side lines.she wanted to live it.to take the wheel and drive n not let others dictate how things would turn out.i know it sounds silly, but it was quite a profoud statement for me to hear.

and something i had honestly never thought about before.. am i letting other people, or what i think other people want..dictate how i live, or the decisions that i make??so i got to thinking about it, and in order to be in control of my life.. i need to know what i want…erkkk "what do i want?" funny how that can be so difficult to answer...i guess in the general ball park of what i really want, there's nothing really specific and precise..and of course not everything is in my control..but i make decisions everyday that are ultimately determine where i will end up in life…what book i read, what i watch on tv..what time i wake up..yes it seems like simple decisions, they are shaping the kind of person i am and who i will be…

maybe i've been feeling a little goal-less lately…not competely lost of course.. but just wondering where all of this is going to take me…you always picture life to be more exciting in the future..er, maybe i’ve got to stop thinking about other people...start to think of something that will bring excitements into my life..its time to stop being the passenger and drive…heh..so i should know its time to step up and take ownership of it all...my victories and my defeats..both can be very easily blamed on others..

then again this is my life...that means i need to be the one taking responsibility for it..have to think of all the people in my life that depending on me..i can't let them down..i cant let myself down.

Just felt like i gave myself a mini motivational speech there…to those who have been in the drivers seat since their first step.rock on.erm maybe you can teach me a thing or two…so stir the wheels..and drive...and pray, i won't hit anything. ;P

Esok, genap 730 hari ibu & ayah bersama Yang Empunya Hidup & Mati

Aku harap ibu sedang berbual dengan ayah, dan mungkin juga bersama nenek & atukku,
" tengok anak-anak Mah tu, tak pernah lupakan Mah, Alhamdulillah"

Kebenarannya, doaku tak pernah lekang buat arwah ibu & ayah.
tak pernah sehari pun aku tidak mengenangkan mereka.
mereka ada dalam hati. ada dalam darah. ada dalam raut wajahku.
aku pasti begitu juga dengan adik-beradikku yang lain.

Ya Ilahi, rahmatilah ibu & ayahku yang telah pulang ke pangkuanMu.
dan pesan pada mereka, aku terlalu rindukan mereka. tunggu saja kedatanganku nanti ya.
(harapku pastilah syurgaMu tuhan)

nikmat melimpah ruah

barangkali tiada sepatah perkataan pun dapat menggambarkan betapa aku

menghargai saat aku ketemu si bumi hujung minggu lalu.

yang aku mahu hanya untuk melihat senyuman pada *mukabumi aku.

tapi aku dapat lebih. malahan, melimpah ruah.

aku dapat mengenali orang-orang penting dalam hidupnya.

ahlil saudara & para sahabat pada si bumi.

aku dapat mendengar bebelannya. lawak jenakanya.

aku dapat lihat kerut matanya. manis bibirnya.

aku dapat kucup tangannya.
kemungkinan aku juga dapat rasa sama gementarnya.

tuhan, terima kasih.

nikmat buat aku melihat senyum pada mukabumi aku.

*muka bumi- raut & ekspresi wajah encik jari kematuan