suh b jek-tiv

lately, i've been analyzing.

sometimes people can assume or some of them can be certain about you or themselves.
be it : your lifestyle, your personality, your goals or even your choices.

in a tiniest moment, all that assumptions can either make you feel good or bad about yourself.
don't lie, what other people say do influence us sometimes.

but the thing is, sometimes the life you never chose, has chosen you.
sometimes uncertainty can certainly become something beautiful.

so i always wonder why people intend to say, "that's not worth it" or "what you're doing is worthless"

why?

do the people already seen what is ahead us or even themselves?

why?

let alone ALLAH decides what worth or otherwise for us.

pray can only be the mightiest weapon for all times so pray for the best.

because at the end of the day, no matter how hard life can be, you only feel happy when there is sincerity.

be it: in love, family, friendship or life it self.

p/s : err i'm very subjective person. i'm sorry if your objectivity of life differs from mine.

Cik Mah

• Hajah Fatimah Said would turn 66 years old today if she's still alive. But she had returned to The Mighty Creator almost three years ago. Allah loves her more and know what best for her. He didn't want my Cik Mah to suffer with her sickness anymore.
  
• Not a single day of my life passes by without missing her very very dearly. I sometimes breakdown and cry but eventually stands up knowing that she will always be with me no matter what happens. she will always be in my heart.
  
• I miss her smile and the way she said "Mama sayang nana, nana sayang mama?",whenever i kissed her. we would end hugging and praying that everything would turn better. Alhamdulillah Mama, i'm coping quite fine with my life for now.You have raised me well and insyaAllah everything will be all right.
  
• I miss her cooking, everybody will say their mother's cooking is the best in the world and so am I. I miss her 3 am telur mata goreng and cili padi patah & kicap cair, and yes i insisted she prepared for me, though i can cook it myself. Air Tangan seorang ibu itu penuh dengan kasih sayang walaupun memasakkan bubur kosong.
  
• I miss to hear she sings all P. Ramlee's songs while baking cakes or cookies in the kitchen or sewing her children baju kurungs and baju melayu in her free time. All my baju kurung were made by her until she left this world. and now i wish i have learnt how to sew baju kurung when she was alive.
  
• I miss taking her to health centre or bring her out for breakfast, dinner or window shopping. she has always been out going, friendly & generous even she can only go around with her wheel chairs. In a month time, all my neighbours in Tmn Bukit Indah grown to love her when she moved here from Johor three years ago. Whoever who knows her will have tears in their eyes or laugh with joy whenever we speak of her. I'm not sure but perhaps she has touched their hearts like Mama always do with mine. All of them still remember her fondly.
  
• But most of all, i miss her love, strengths and believes. She tought me to be strong and patient and the same time. she tought me nothing is perfect in this world and always learn to accept other's flaws as a gift from Allah and treat everything with care & respect. Never stop praying even life can be bitter sometimes. She always stand firm that love & sincerity will save us from hatred. She believed that until her last breath. and Alhamdulillah, i'm living my life with the same believes so far and hopefully until i die.

Thank you ma for everything. I love you. You will always be my one and only Mama. Al Fatihah.

i have this feeling

i don't have much time.

do you ever feel that way?

as if you should be somewhere.

and all you care, when you get there,

everybody u leave will be ok?

zaman itu, saya tidak tahu apa maksud masalah

ketika berusia 12 tahun ke bawah, saya rasa saya tidak pernah tahu wujudnya masalah.
zaman itu, saya suka 4u2c. saya suka tonton filem mighty ducks dan saya rasa pakai seluar jeans terbalik macam group kriss kross sangat cool le time tu.

zaman itu, semua tidak mustahil. semua indah. zaman semua pekara yang aku lakukan arwah ibu bilang " pandai anak mama"

zaman sekarang, dah besar panjang ini. realistiknya, masalah dan juga penyelesaian wujud rupanya. saya sudah berusia, saya harus berfikiran jauh. bukan untuk diri sendiri sahaja, untuk semua orang, juga masa untuk masa hadapan.

well that's why i need to visit my past once in a while , to unlease my the inner child, zaman melompat-lompat tanpa masalah memang sangat menceriakan saya. hehehe.